Airlines: Vegan or Pagan (Or Both!)
IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ
*Names of cities and/or airlines have been changed to protect… well… no one. I just like these names better.*
Making airline reservations can be so boring and tedious with all the “hold please” and automated menus you must go through to get a real human on the phone; today was no exception. I loathe talking to airlines so I thought I would try a new approach for making a reservation. It went something like this…
Airline: Let’s see, I have you scheduled for *Katmandu to *Madagascar and back on the same day. That comes to a total of $387.50. How would you like to pay for this today, Miss?
I was absolutely stunned at the total. This was almost double what I paid last time I took this flight.
Sensing the airline employee was having a bad day with all the “sighing” she was experiencing, I said this:
Me: That much, huh? How flexible is the airline on the types of payments they accept?
Airline: Ma’am? Excuse me? sigh…
Me: Would you, or the the airline, be willing to accept something other than Visa, Mastercard and/or American Express?
Airline: Such as? sigh…
Me: Such as chickens.
Airline: Come again?
Me: Would you, or the the airline, be willing to accept chickens (live, fried, baked, sacrificed… whatever) as an alternative form of payment opposed to the usual credit cards you accept? Can I pay you in chickens instead?
Airline: We only accept the aforementioned forms as payment. Not… not chickens. sigh…
Me: What’s wrong with chickens? It worked for Doc Baker in Little House on the Prairie. Why not *Nixon Airlines?
Airline: Ma’am…
Me: Vegan, huh?
Airline: Hold please.
I was then transferred to the manager and he was very efficient in changing a few things around with my reservation and was able to lower my total to something more reasonable.
Some people cannot take a joke. Or is it just vegans?
I’m kidding!! I like bean sprouts as much as the next person, but only if it’s accompanied with steak and a glass of milk.
OMG, you said it the other day but today I have confirmed it.. we could be such great friends IRL!This post was the best thing i’ve read today well aside from @david_n_wilson telling me they posted a blog about me on his blog!(thats gotta be the best because its about me and everyone knows how self centered I am)!
Next time I need to do anything and its way over priced I’m going to try the chicken route!
As a vegan, I find none of this funny.
How dare you sacrifice chickens for your own gain. 
Oh, and no one likes bean sprouts. It’s okay. Besides, ever good vegan eats weeds and grass anyway.
@pixarman Well living in China I learned to bargain. But I really wasn’t trying to do that here. Just being silly. And it worked!
That is very awesome! I can’t believe it worked. I’m taking you with me next time I travel.. hehe
I saved about $150. Total came to around $230 (which is still higher than I used to pay). It’s actually a very short flight. Maybe 80 minutes? Don’t know how the manager was able to lower the ticket price so much. I’m not complaining! She was pretty rude. Sigh…
I highly recommend this to anyone dealing with rude customer service of any kind. It worked for me and it can for you too! haha
I have to say I’m interested to know how much it did save you. Hahah, maybe I should try this the next time I try to get tickets.
No joke. I really said that. I don’t know what I would’ve said if they *did* accept poultry as payment. *gulp*
Instead of ending my blog with “a glass of milk”, I almost wrote “with a big slab of cheese”, but my digestive system can be a tad sensitive at times. No one likes teh dairy cramps!!
ROFL! i thought you were joking about the chickens. That is effing hilarious!
You handled that with 8creativity*, too bad more people don’t get it. I do have to say the funniest thing to me is: “I like bean sprouts as much as the next person, but only if it’s accompanied with steak and a glass of milk.”
me too totally!!!
great post :+}
cheers!
Aronado